Irony is the greatest of everything that deserves to die.
A man lived on a day called tuesday, on a street named Mulberry Street. Every day he would walk up his stairs to the Street. Mulberry would say “Goodmorning sir, her is your newspaper.” to which the man would reply, thank you Mulberry, anything exciting in the paper today?” There were variations of this brief rehearsed verbal joust; which I suppose is more of a duel than a joust, given that a sound is heard for only a second or two, and then all is quiet and done. And of course there was never any news. Sure there were murders and gang rapes and houses caught fire and people became president, but these were all expected things. As a child the man would sit on his grandfathers lap and be told stories. “Son, there’s alot of crap in the world. back in my day all the old folks would tell me to say back in my day when I was old.We had to pay attention to all these things around us. Things like the news weren’t just for sudoku, crosswords, and clever columns. We read the news not for the fun of it, but because we had to. You see son,” The man’s grandfather always called him son, though he assuredly was a grandson. “You see son, back then nobody ever saw bad things coming like they do now. It was always a shock that the really dark alley had a bad guy in it and that the city built in the giant pit by the ocean would be succeptible to hurricanes. It didn’t really matter that every year the city would be flooded and that random bodies were found in the alley. People cried about it but didn’t think about how maybe they should check out the alley for bad guys, or move the people out of the toilet bowl by the ocean.” The boy was always confused by his grandfather’s stories. Firstly, he was taught that stories were to have a beggining middle and end to them. The man being a very analytical person, was always trying to complete a chart of stories he heard. His grandfather never quite fit into his system. Secondly, he had never heard of the “toilet bowl city,” or “streets where people are murdered,” because he was only five or six. His grandfather concerned him significantly.
On Mulberry street people were still murdered. It didn’t seem to be quite as heartwrenching as his grandfather remembered it though. People were delicate squishy things, and when they go all mush, that’s when they do what grandpa’s people called “go crazy.” mushy people always murdered were elected on Mulberry Street. One day the president was having a press conference and he said, “People are bad and good things. Good is the dense hard part in all of us, but the mushy in you is bad. I was mushy once, but now I’m elected. And bad/mushy isn’t something to be ashamed of. We have a job for you too. People get murdered all the time, but we need somebody to do the hardwork like that. If any of you have the slightest inclination to be a mushy individual, there’s a career out there for you too.” That always was an interesting thing to the man. “There’s always a place for dense and mushy people?” There was a statistic on the news back page that had been counting for a while now. on the left it said “D” and on the right it said “M.” The man wondered what it could mean because the numbers were moving awfully fast since the president’s speech. Next to the D it had read “5 BILL” and next to the M it had read “2 BILL” The numbers had changed though. The left numbers were getting lower and lower, and the numbers on the right read “6.66 BILL”
The man thought for a moment. “I could have a better job so much easier if I were mushy.”
I have no particular opinion on the benefits or disadvantages of antiwar philosophy, but this is just something to consider. When you see “make love, not war” or what have you, more often than not, this is written in helvetica. Helvetica was originally invented in early post-WWII Europe. This wasn’t made for all the hippies to fight war, or even for war damaged veterans to have peace. Helvetica was originally used to promote American and Allied patriotism in the post-war effort. I thought the irony that the standard of patriotism in basic design is being used to promote anti-government, and liberal-philosophies that at least in their extremities promote the opposite of American or Allied political interests, was a point worth considering.
On the off chance that reincarnation were real it would be super frustrating to be reincarnated into the body of Benjamin Button. The poor guy just finished getting old and dying and now he’s reincarnated into a new body that’s still super old and dying. Do there’s my happy thought for the day.